It’s not so easy having to drive
past Marina Jacks everyday when I go home to Sarasota. Everytime I do so, I am
filled with a rush of emotions. It’s such a beautiful place and should be
filled with nothing but joy, but some of my past experiences have made this a
bit difficult. This is the place where I used to jog with my boyfriend, before
our relationship became toxic. The place where the reason for our relationship
becoming toxic has also been the reason for a friend of mine’s death, and where
a memorial now stands for her.
At first, going past the park makes
me miss my ex boyfriend, thinking of all the good times we shared together
there. But then, as I pass my friend Brandi’s memorial plaque, a whole other
wave of emotions rushes through me.
For Brandi’s sake, I try to view this place with beauty and peace. I try
to tell myself that she is happy and healthy now up in heaven; completely drug
free.
But then looking at this only makes
me think about how my ex boyfriend and my relationship started to take a turn
for the worst. Abuse of prescription pills was becoming a huge issue in this
small town I grew up in. Ever since my ex got his hands on his first pill, our
relationship was never the same again.
Despite all of this dark
negativity, I try to look out into the water, past all of this. I imagine a world
where everyone is happy; there are no issues with drugs. I look out at the sun
reflecting the waves and tell myself that this is Brandi, shinning her bright
beautiful smile down on Earth, letting us know that she is finally at peace. I
like to imagine her to be in some magical place, like somewhere you would find
in one of Dr. Seuss’ books.
